Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Adoption Interview Project 2013: Akers of Love

I have said before - and I'll say it again - that I have learned SO much about adoption by reading about the experiences of others' through their blogs. Therefore, I am really grateful for the initiative of people like Heather over at ProductionNotReproduction  for coordinating the Adoption Interview Project, which is a wonderful collaboration of bloggers from throughout the adoption constellation. I had fun participating last year, and did again this in 2012.

This year, I have the good fortunate to be paired with Abby of Akers of Love. Among other interesting things, she's the momma of toddler Max and new born Sam. Her boys are REALLY adorable (including her husband, Wes!), and as I wrote to her, I don't understand how she finds time to be such a great mom, keep up with her blog, AND look so cute and perky herself!

Somehow, thankfully, she DID find time to respond to my questions. Below is her interview.

I am impressed by how frequently you post and your initiative in connecting with other bloggers, such as your 10-4 Good Buddy project. I feel like I often lack the time and energy to keep up my blog, yet you are the busy mom of a toddler and a new born and you manage it (while still looking so energetic and cute, I might add!). How do you do it?!

Don't be too impressed...I've already stopped doing 10-4 Good Buddy.  I loved the idea and meeting people, but it was too much...especially with our new, little guy.

I usually blog during naptime, but again, don't be too impressed, because sometimes I choose to blog instead of doing what I really should be doing, cleaning, laundry, preparing dinner, etc.

But the main reason I blog is to jot down things I want to remember about my family...mainly my boys.  So a special event or something funny my two year old says are great motivations for me to sit down and write a post.  I know I need to write another post when my husband or mom say, "You haven't written a post in a while..."

How do you envision your blog evolving in the future?

I'm not sure I'm looking for it to evolve.  I don't want to be motivated by how many followers I have or who is reading my blog...although it has been a huge blessing to meet some lovely ladies through the blog world!  My focus is to record our family stories...sometimes a project or recipe I think is worth sharing...and if other's are blessed by what I write, that's a bonus.

How is living adoption different than you envisioned it when you were dreaming of becoming parents?

Well, the main difference is that when I was dreaming of becoming a mama, I pictured my children to look like my husband and me.  Adoption caused me to  break the mold of what I thought our family would like and I love how my family looks!  I pray that others..especially those who are struggling with infertility...will see our family and see how wonderful a family grown through adoption can be.

Your faith is obviously a guiding force in your life. How do you think it impacted your adoptions? How do you think it impacts your parenting?

It's interesting that you asked this questions because adoption/infertility and parenting have been the two areas of my life that have grown my faith the most and made me realize my enormous need to completely depend on God.

My faith impacts every aspect of my life.  Although I fail miserably at times, my desire is to have God be the driving force in every action, word and decision I make.  I remember saying over and over to my husband during both of our adoptions, "I can't imagine doing any of this without a relationship with Godt."  Regardless of the disappointments {and we have had our fair share}, I always had hope that everything would work out according to His perfect plan for our family.

With parenting, it's a daily battle between allowing my selfishness and flesh to take over and allowing God to lead me with my parenting choices.  Parenting is so hard. When I begin my day in prayer asking God to help me be the mom He wants me to be for Max and Sam, my day goes so much better than going about my day on my own.

You now have two children who you adopted, which means you have connections with two different birth families. How are you navigating the differences in their adoptions, and how do you anticipate doing so as they grow? 

You're right!  Our two adoptions are different.  We had a relationship with Max's birthmom prior to him being born, we were in the delivery room to see him come into this world and have had consistent communication with her.  We have also met Max's birthfather and many other member of his birth family.  With Sam's birthmom, we  met her the day Sam was born, we don't know much about her and may not every know anything about the birthfather.

It can be overwhelming to think about how everything is going to work out in the future.  I pray that we can have healthy, safe relationships with both of our boys' birth families.  We trust God that he will guide us in the way that is best for our family and everyone else involved.

I guess I really didn't answer your question, but I really have no idea what our future holds, but our desire is to have a relationship with both birth families.

I believe that you and your husband are white parents raising children of color. Do you have any advice to share with others considering transracial adoption?

It's not a necessity, but find other families that look like yours.  Maybe you can connect with other families that have done transracial adoptions through your agency.  We are blessed that our very good friends have a transracial family through adoption.

Don't let it scare you.  If that's God plan for you, He will give you the wisdom and grace to deal with any issues that come along.
Is there something you think readers should know about you that they wouldn't learn from reading your blog?

I was a kindergarten teacher for 8 years.  I loved it, but my dream job has always been to be a mom.  Being a teacher to a room full of 5 and 6 year olds taught me so much about parenting and I am so thankful that God allowed me to have a part and hopefully make an impact in over 170 kid's lives.


Thank you, Abby! It was a pleasure "meeting" you. I look forward to following your family's story and wish you all the best!!

1 comment:

Amber said...

Great interview! All I ever wanted to be was " a mom ". I had other things on my list, but being a mom was my desire. Looking forward to reading more!