Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Supporting Loved Ones Who Are Adopting

Throughout our path to parenthood, M. and I have been amazed and touched by the thoughtful and caring things that people have said and done for us. Sometimes, sweet gestures or just the right words have come from unexpected places when we needed them most.

Let me also say that I know that infertility and adoption are very foreign subjects to most folks and that they can feel awkward to discuss because they often connect with very personal issues and/or loss. We understand that, so we cut fumblers a lot of slack. We recognize that most missteps aren't intended to be negative and probably even come from a "good" place. Never-the-less, we've received a few thoughtless comments or questions that are curiosity-overgrown-to-nosiness that have stung and left me (yes, me!) stumbling for an appropriate response.

So, I thought I'd write some about things that can be said or done (or not said or done) to support a loved one who is adopting. But as it turns out, Heather at ProductionNotReproduction - one of the bloggers I follow - has already written on just this subject and done a marvelous job! As I told her when I asked for permission to link or quote from her site, "Why mess with perfection?!"

I hope you'll check out her original post AND then the one she wrote subsequent to it that incorporates a lot of the great input she got from other readers.

Here is Heather's spot-on advice on supporting family members who are adopting.

Again, I invite anyone with further input or questions to be in touch. You can add a comment or send me an email or whatever works best for you. Remember, we want an OPEN adoption, which to me means being open about our circumstances, thoughts, and feelings with anyone who is kind enough to care about them.

No comments: